Getting beat down by tricks,
Listening to hurtful lies,
Kept from doing what I want to do,
Getting knocked down on my feet,
Being bombarded by homework,
All part of the steepness
Of the mountain of life.
Climbing little by little,
With my hands I call friends,
And my feet I call family,
Helping me get higher each day.
It seems impossible to climb to the top,
So high that I can’t even see it,
Like an impossible test, but not for a throne,
Or to gain my rightful place,
Without even knowing the point,
Of all this hard work and effort.
But I am too high to climb down,
And I must not look back,
Because seeing my past decisions,
Will stall me from reaching the top.
I will continue to climb,
Some days higher than others,
I will refuse to fall or slip,
And I will do whatever it takes,
Just to see the peak of life,
And the spectacular view,
Of what just might be,
My rightful place.
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3 comments:
Hows it Bryan,
I liked this piece. It explained a lot about the struggles of life. I'm assuming your allusion has to deal with someone who also had a hard time with life.
The final paragraph I feel was a good expression. Stating how no matter what happens it is worth seeing what's at the end.
I really liked the piece and see few issues, except i don't know who or what your myth is >.<
and I think there was a mistake in paragraph one on the fourth line you said, "Getting knocked down ON my feet," did you mean "Getting knocked down OFF my feet?" ahaha anyways other than that, like I said before, I think this piece is good.
Hi Bryan,
I think Cooper did an excellent job on his commentary. Like him, I think your description of your struggles to attain the top were very well done...but, also like him, I think you need to make the allusion clearer.
And don't forget your graphic.
mrs s
Hey Bryan,
This is a really good poem.
I can almost connect to you in a way that is easier to explain.
I like how you used bombarded in the first section. Towered would have been just as good, but bombarded sounds more "deep".
Your organization is really fluent.
Although this is a "myth"-allusive poem, i can't seem to figure out your myth.
Good Job =]
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