“Where am I going for college? What am I looking for in a college? What career are you planning to pursue?” - Just some of the questions that are in the back of my mind. Why? Simply because I’m unsure about the answers to them. I know that I have to be answering it soon, or else time’s gonna tick until the clock runs out.
Pressure, pressure, pressure. I know I have two general ideas for my career: helping people, or working with computers. I enjoy making others feel better, but I also like working with computer programs. I like giving people advice when they have a bad family or friend situation, but I also have a curiosity of how computers and computer programs work. However, I wouldn’t want to sit down in the office, typing and configuring stuff for 8 hours. But then again, I don’t think I can stand dealing with people’s sicknesses and problems for that long either. I get As and Bs in all my subjects, but I can’t even choose what kind of education I want until I know what I want to do in the future!
But wait, calm down, relax, and think. I don’t have to be sure about which career I want to pursue right after high school. There’s no set deadline on when I have to choose a career. I know that one of the careers is more intriguing to me than the other. I just need help finding out which. Being able to take more than one course at this university will help me decide during college. I can take a course specializing in computer programming, and another one specializing in nursing or psychology.
So that clock won’t stop ticking. It’s just going to keep revolving and revolving, allowing me to wait for that precious moment when I finally decide what kind of future I will possess.
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3 comments:
You're piece was well written yet at the same time I think that you could've added more.
That's alright though because this is the only a rough draft.
I have to say that I really did enjoy reading your essay.
I know you're undecided, I think that we all are.
You did a good job explaining why you are undecided about helping people or working with computers.
Although, you could mention more examples on how you would help people.
Also, the things in the past that made you want to persue helping out others.
Such as: community service, helping out at a retirement home, giving advice to others, etc.
You wrote how you want to work with computers.
Answer the question: Why? What makes you so fascinated to persue that career in the future?
You're conclusion, I like how you said "that clock won't stop ticking. It's just going to keep revolving and revolving..."
It's true, yet we may have all the time in the world but we shouldn't be putting things such as this aside.
I would also recommend you to include more things about yourself.
Something that makes you stand out from everyone else aiming for the same goal.
By the way, GOOD JOB BESTFRIEND!
:]
- Megan Claire.
Your voice really shows on your essay. I can picture how you must feel right now. You could list some things on what you want to know whout computers and the computer programs.
Your could be more specific on "So that clock won't stop ticking". You can add on what is going to keep revolving.
Overall your essay was enjoyable to read. It was interesting on how you wrote about how it's hard for you to find a future to possess.
Hi Bryan,
At first I thought, uh oh, he's doing the same essay as the pre-assessment. But I noticed you focused it quite a bit which was good.
Megan's critique started out pretty general but after she got going, she gave you some very good advice about revision. I think her suggestions were good ones to consider...providing a bit more background on your personality and interests and abilities.
Ariel's was pretty general.
My additional comment is that I don't think the word "revolve" is correct in that context. Revolve seems to imply 3D...
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